Death was never Easy
These few days i am pretty much thinking about death.
My paternal grandfather is currently in critical condition, in fact i am going back Johor later to see him and Qing Ming. Supposed to go back at 2pm but mom just called at 830am...she said we will be going back earlier at around 10am...and they will fetch me at 10am here, at Cyberjaya.
" Why go back so early suddenly?"
" Your grandfather 'kenot' already...is dying soon.."
Isn't it weird...i don't know... what to feel..
Few days ago was chatting with mom in msn... abt today trip back to Johor. The funny thing was i was told to bring back some black clothes "in case" anything happen. And i fear is going to happen but i don't want it to happen yet at the same time...izit better for him to go? I can see my grandpa suffering...why an oldman have to suffer all this mishap? The fall is not bad enough? Tumors will make it better???Aren't an oldman suppose to enjoy their wonder years before they rest in peace? Yet is not for me to judge or decide whether a man should go or not. I can't even do anything for him now.
I still remember last 2 weeks i went back... my relatives were literally talking about that he goin to die soon and all those craps in front of him. I felt horrible and i saw my grandpa eyes were teary. And i cried in my heart. Gosh this is not easy at all. Some insolent relative XXXXXXX even dont get the scenario! Everybody was saying let him eat anythign he want or go anywhere he wan but HE insist let him continue with all those crap products....I DONO LA ..
Now i am waiting my car here, the weather is fine eventhough is quite cold just now ( cold till i wake up). I saw butterfly, a small butterfly. Is this a sign or something? ironic.
What i can do is wish that he gets better. Be strong!!
p.s cb ants all crawling around my place... on the floor..which fella eat food at my place??? smack u!