Friday, July 23, 2010

Black & White with You.

I'll be getting a haircut tomorrow morning.
Not sure what to get this time, maybe a trim.

Goodbye to my black old waves.
Wait a min, there are no waves!

Black and white, i see calm, serenity, real.
No invasion from the colored world.
Without the anesthesia of the color pigment, relive the real moment.

Maybe is the sincerity.

Photos from my friend's camera, Javad and some i took it.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Salt and wolf cub.

First, I want to thank Nuffnang for the free Salt premiere tickets (2 tickets)! I'll will be at the premiere screening of Salt on 26 July 2010, 9pm. Who will be my plus one? :)

Oh. I had the weirdest dream yesterday, is the combination of chasing speed cars (mercedez), wolf, hyena and me with belt. I was driving this kind of old model huge mercedez with my sister, and there were people who try to steal or sabotage the car. I speed around highway and loose them. Back to my own house theres a mother wolf lying on the floor, a hyena came and snatch out a wolf cub from the wolf's stomach (scary). Me and my dad saw the incident and my dad asked me to chase away the hyena..i took a belt and tried to whack at the hyena. Finally he dropped the baby wolf cub on the floor. Oh ya btw it was black fur wolf. Later, i took in the baby cub with me cause the mother wolf died or ran away.

The baby wolf cub is the cutest thing!! It was so surreal when one part of the dream the baby wolf cub got bigger and furry. Then we rest on a field of grass, playing around with each other, it climbed on top of me and use its nose rubbed against my nose :) i felt warm and happy. so cute.

Woke up and still feeling warm and happy..that little black baby wolf made my day.

Strange, but so real in the dream! I want a wolf baby~

Exactly around this big the baby wolf.
I'm gonna miss you :(

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Start up something.

My aunty told me i need to have more desire (渴望) if i want to make it big.

It makes me wonder, do i not have any desire? I do have desire, i just need the gizmo to turn the wheel.What kind of gizmo, i not sure. Maybe i'm just a coward that can talk the talk but cant walk the walk. 

I detest the suckier me. Protesting to have a better me. 22 is not a new number anymore

Step up to your game, girl.

Monday, July 12, 2010


人类是犯贱的生物。如果天生我才必有用,人类的才能就是犯贱, 而且还是明知故犯。

我恨。 我笨。


Deliver me a letter.

A postman riding a bicycle,

Across the sea and the breeze,

Fighting through the hills and bumps,

Mail box at the peak of the city,

He delivered his first love letter.

I miss watching Il Postino i guess. :)

They say.

They tell you : Don't give up, fight for it.
They never tell you how hard and painful it is along the way.

They tell you: You will be okay. Nothing to worry about.
They never know how terrified you were and you are still not okay.

They tell you: I will be by your side. You can count on me.
They never say a shit about leaving you behind.

Say it when you know it.
Say it when you mean it.

Is not that hard to stay silence.

Saturday, July 10, 2010


Laughing at the funeral. 


The hurtful moment i had, happened again just now.

How am i suppose to be a good daughter if every good thing i trying to do for you, you skeptical about it and accused me doing all that because i had an intention? I was just offering a massage, if you don't want it can't you decline it? You pushed my hand away and told me :" Stop pretending."

Do you ever think the words that came out from your mouth were like a slash at the back. It hurts still. In my room, i was sad and i found an old diary of mine. Guess what? You are the main character in the book. Not just the first time. Years ago, Mother's Day i bought you a flower and told you 'i love you' ( i dont usually do that, ill never do this again) and she just said :" Don't pretend.." Another time, i took a glass of water for you, no thankful word but sarcastic tone of :" Don't pretend to be good." Funny, i told myself not to be and won't be good anymore.

Whats wrong with you keep complaining your daughter is not good enough, others daughter are much better if you don't even give me a chance to do so? I was never good enough for you mom. Everything i achieved and gained never made you proud. Others are always better, you don't give a damn about mine.

Your favourite quote :" Is too late for you, hopeless."

i love you so much and i so afraid of loosing you but you never realise that. Maybe one day you will when i can give you what you want.

You never listen to what i said,
You never thought i'd succeed,
And though i've given you all i can,
You show no faith in me.

I'll pretend you like me.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

I need a doctor. [coming soon]

Doc Martens, come to me please! I've been wanting to have one pair of those amazing boots for a long time. Finally i can almost touch it :) Thanks to my friend, KJ which currently at Scotland or somewhere there. He promised to buy the doc mart for me as my birthday, well he buy, i pay. Pretty cool huh!

Kj asked me: Cherry red shiny (40pounds) or not shiny(55 pounds)? 

8 eyes Not shiny / Shiny

Sad to say, i'm not in a very good shape now. I admit, the only thing that keeping me sane is by hoping and believing that i will be better. All the sad, fearful, despair moment will be gone (for awhile) once i get my feet in it! Well, i need a doctor that can cure me right? *wink* Excitement meter over 9000!

Pictures to quench my thirst (got from google image and





Walk a thousand miles in dr mart.

Cheers. 1460 8 eyes boots.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

What if i'm a Russian Spy?

Do you every think that among us, there always one person that you never really know who she really is? Well think about me, I always late for class, missing in action and 5mins ago i was with you and 5mins later 'poof' i'm gone!? Don't you think there is something special about me?

(So you think: Late for class because of the midnight oil, missing in action because stay at home playing the latest PS3 game, gone halfway in shoppingmall because she have to poop.)

Skeptical? CTRL + A to see the hidden message. 

Ahem. Yes, i am a Russian spy. The reason for all that is because i currently on a mission. Yes, a mission handed down to me, only me by my dear Mother Russia. I am telling you this because is part of my mission.

My mission is simple, we call it Mission 'Nuffsaid':

1. Pretend to be a blogger.
2. Join Nuffnang.
3. Be low-profile as possible while waiting for the right moment.
4. When you see the code word 'Salt', activate 'Grab' movement.

5. 'Grab' movement: Deceive Nuffnang's staff and make them believe that you are joining the competition.
6. Then GRAB the movie screening of Salt.
7. Final mission: Retrieve Angelina Jolie's badass hotness from the movie back to Russia.

but my ultimate secret mission entrusted by my dear mother Russia is, codename: Bloggie.

I can't tell you more about this mission. Is too dangerous for you to know more. Less is more. Fear not. Your pc won't explode in 10seconds after u read this message. In fact, i will pass down my super secret spy knowledge to you! Click on the video below to know more, well click at your own risk:

I recorded this while in refugee under KL city. Listen carefully for the hidden message.

Can't wait to meet my spy-mate:


First rule to be a spy: Never reveal your identity.


Pick me!

I was not in a very good mood. My friend, Wayne drew me this:

Thank you bro! :)

Friday, July 2, 2010

Letter from the past.

The following is an e-mail from the past, composed on Friday, April 10, 2009, and sent via
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear FutureMe,

I know you hate where you are now, maybe is not quite what you had in your mind. Don't sigh! Fight for what you want in you life. You don't wanna waste it right? Think about your dreams, your love, your passion. Wait a sec, do you still remember? I won't allow you to forget it..:

Now take 10 sec of your time, close your eyes, think back what i wanted and what you want.

Silly isn't it. I believe you can do it for me. You will make it happen for me. No, i want you to be the me that i wanted me to be. Never doubt your own abilities. I have faith in you.

I wish you earn your first 1 million by this time :D hahaaaaa.

i wish you well, i wish you happiness, i wish you love, i wish you strong, i wish you successful, i wish you achieve everything that you wanted and i wish you health.

Is your stomach still fine? Oh my. Take good care of yourself. Love yourself, take good care of your body.

Last but not least, be good to your love one, your family and your friends. Cherish every single moment. Never regret.

Hope to hear from you soon. =)

* This is the email i received from myself on my birthday. I wish i am fine now.

My Present!

I will remember all of my friends~

From Charuk and the rest!

Another from KJ!

And a birthday dinner with bunch of lovely funny friends:

& last but not least birthday calls, smses and all the birthday wishes from the realm of facebook :)

Thank you so much !