Hold on or Let go.

Yesterday, mom and aunty brought a 'sifu' or some sort of master to see my grandpa. My grandpa is very ill and sick. The only thing he can do is laying on a bed, suffering. He can't walk or remember us anymore. It kills me to see him like this. The master said my grandpa's will to live is strong. He can't let go of something thats why he is still here with us. Maybe he miss my grandma, he love my grandma. He always love her, so so much. 

I remember grandma asked him before :" Why are you still here? Don't you wan to go and join ur family at another world? Are you waiting for me?" And my grandpa just nodded his head. I laughed but at the same time i felt the sorrow.

The master gave my grandma a lantern light, if the light burn for a time ( forgot how long) without fail then his soul will rest in peace in 3 months ... I dont know what the hell is that but i dont know.

I want to see you smile again my grandpa. You don't deserve to be like this.

I want you to go, go to a better place

but

deep down i want you stay, hold on for us. I'm selfish. 

I miss the time when i go to grandma house, i can see my grandpa sitting at the living room watching those documentaries or old movies while peeling fruits for me to eat. I miss his story telling about anything and everything.

I am afraid my memories of you will fade away. 

Hoping for a miracle.

公公， 你还好吗？

Bye?

Is fading away, slowly. 

Will i still feel the pain if is gone?

I don't feel like loosing it but this is me. Twisty. 

Another Bday!

Dear girl girl aka Jian Yi. Can't believe you are 21 now! Happy Birthday once again and hope that you get what you want in your life! Now your one sided bra can upgrade to a normal bra, matured. HAHA

i want my money back, i want my money back. 

=P saja.

* i almost cried.

Exhausted.

What if everything is just nothing? 

Bye Bye SNOW WHITE, SLEEPING BEAUTY, CINDERELLA & whoever princesses, you all can go to hell with me. 

:D 

* Just finished Starwars Epi3. Yay! finally Epi 4, 5 and 6!

LMAO.

Click image to enlarge.

I'm very happy i have this mom, that is one of the reason why. haha you rocker but why izit complicated(that's her facebook)? I wonder. Lucky dad dont have facebook if not you two might be some sort of virtual war or i dont know what might happen kind of thing. @@

& received a mail from Barsonic group and they uploaded some videos of Shinichi & Masatoshi @ Barsonic, Zouk KL. I laughed when i saw the videos cause i can see Keat dancing, Yvonne and me avoiding the dive and Khaiming jumping. LOL gotcha!

I like this song. I am recording beside von, 

yea the bright white light is me haha.

Avoiding heavy material.

Khai Ming and Keat dancing.

Life is wonderful, for awhile.

Anyway! 

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY to my buddy Kay! Can't believe that we are 21 i mean you are 21! haha my time hvnt arrive yet. ahem. I gonna wish you happy like a small kid get a bunch of sweets, i wish you healthy like a new born  giraffa, i wish you wisdom like gandalf the wise and i wish your business start up smoothly like silky straight shampoo! & thx for always belanja me makan good stuffs, play with me, listen to me whine and make me laugh. I glad that i have you as my fren! i know i promise you something but wait ya! :D HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR FREN. rawr rawr rawr. 

* Sorry about the other night whn i ter-call you at a wrong time and wrong day. :D tee-hee.

6/3/2009 3:30am

"Hello, today somebody gonna be 21 rite!? ( excitingly)"

" Er, what say you?"

" hmmmm ( thinking), today is not your bday isn't it?"

" Is 2 days later"

............................

" Fuck. Sorry i will call you again later :D"

Yea i got bad memories but i do mean it. cheers.