The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

Can't wait for this movie, i swear this is going to be really good.

Balls.

Life's a bitch, a very bitchy one that grabs you by the balls when you least expected. Yes life is unfair, is so unfair that to a certain extent you just want to scream and just stab yourself, straight to the middle of your heart.

Yet, life is fair when it comes to illness. Regardless of your sex, age, race, status, we can never run away from it. My aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer, 3rd stage. She just finished her chemotherapy sessions and having her first radiotherapy soon. And last week, my best friend's father was diagnosed with lung cancer, 4th stage. 4th stage is a very scary stage for a cancer patient. He will be having his chemo session this coming Tuesday, i think. My friend was devastated, the bad news just crushed her. I thought i know how to comfort her since i shared the same experience of having a family member who is suffering from cancer, but i guess i'm quite clueless in the end.

"Everyone tell me to prepare for the worst." she said.
"Why can't we hope for the best?" i said.

It kills me to see her this depress and sad... Yes if i were to be in her shoe i would be devastated too. I want her dad to be well, and i want her to be well too. What should i do? What should i say?

Everything is so fragile now that i'm afraid the words that are coming out from my mouth would break her to pieces... Dear friend, please stay strong and know that i will always be there for you.  Be strong and grabs back the balls of life. Don't let go.

Ready. Set. Stay.

Okay, so i made a decision.

I am going somewhere.
Probably i'll see you again.

Ready, set, go.

IF.

IF you are what you eat, then i am awesome.
IF roses are red, probably blood too.

I think i tried and try too hard.
damn.

Just.

In case you haven't noticed, i am fucking in love with you.

This image does not associate with my statement above.

Is a lightbulb with wings, if you know what i mean...

The moment.

Sometimes i don't understand myself at all, i'm not sure what i was thinking or about to think.
Do the words that came out from my mouth speak what was in my brain? I'm not sure.

These few days ive been watching movies. It's been awhile since i watch any real movies. I was seeking for something which i will never know, and movie therapy is the only way. As i was watching my third movie, Amelie it left me in a depressive feeling in the end. It was a happy ending but the last 10mins of the film just made me stuck in a melancholic state.

I guess my current state of mind pretty much related to this character. Do i rather imagine myself with someone that is absent rather than building a real relationship with people around me? Or my heart will be dry and brittle like Raymond's bone...

I just wish the moment will last a little bit longer. Just a little bit.

I'm such a coward.

Unconditional.

How should i start this. Well happy chinese new year fellows! I guess my celebration this year is pretty good regardless how many of us put on a really good poker faces (partially) to greet the relatives. Nobody is perfect even in the families. Don't get me wrong, i love hanging out with my relatives some of them i wish they stay nearer or closer as for some, let's just keep to the tradition: see you at the reunion dinner.

Since is CNY, let's talk about togetherness and family. For me, family is the only people that can give unconditional love and care for each other. No matter how stubborn or good, neurotic or dumb, defect or perfectly normal, your family will accept you as who you are. I know this because i've been through a lot with my family.

For me, my mom is the unsung hero in my family. If is not for her efforts, i dont think my family can make it this far. Thank you Mom! I guess perhaps she learned the importance of family values when she was very young. Growing up in a big family at a small 'kampung baru' (town), they were not well-off but definitely rich and full of love from the inside. My grandfather and grandmother really taught them well, even until today i can still see the great bonding among the siblings. I love all my aunties and uncles. I really do wish them well, but sadly life doest work that way.

Yes, some unfortunate events might occurred every now and then. Each time they worked their way and helped each other out like a true family. I salute the siblings, i really do respect all my aunts and uncles. Yet, shit happens. All i can do now is observe, like they says :"you're just a kid, don't interfere in adult's stuff." The thing is i am 24 this year, I feel pretty useless cause i can't help much in these kind of matters.

Everyone is struggling, yet everyone celebrated CNY happily. Well is not as lively as before (ever since my grandpa passed away) but i'm glad that the spirit is still there. These few days are pretty tough for everyone, i know. I'm just hope that with this unconditional sacrifice, the bond among the family will win again. I do, i really do hope so.

So this CNY, i am content. No i should be very happy to surround by all this awesome people. I'm very happy indeed. Appreciate what you have and spend more time with your family this CNY.

P.S Aunty (Jiu Mu) please be strong and fight all those cancer cells away!

Gong Xi Fa Cai to everyone!
May this year be an auspicious year for everyone.

Moonrise Kingdom by Wes Anderson.

How excited i am to finally watch this trailer, never thought that the main characters are two kids(from imdb).

Enjoy this amazing new-coming-soon film by Wes Anderson:

Kitty at the end!